CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR NETWORKING

As I mentioned in my previous blog, there are numerous outlets where we can network. It needn’t be confined to events prescribed for networking and corporate mingling. We can meet people who can have positive impact on our lives personally, spiritually or business-ally (hehehe) anywhere we conduct our day to day tasks: the gas station, the gym, the park, the train, the bus, a cousin’s- friend’s- child’s birthday party… All that is needed to network are confidence and willingness to approach others or be approached.

What can make it easier is a conversation starter; that quip or question or statement that invites a response and perhaps creates dialogue and VOILA!!!...we have networked.

Conversation starters are situational…opportunistic even. If a situation arises that gives us the opportunity to start a conversation, then we do it. If a person is standing next to us (within ear shot) in a train or by the bar at the party, these are examples of opportunities for conversation. If the person we want to meet is across the room, we position ourselves within that person’s circle to make a conversation possible.

Of course, let me be very clear that we only start conversations when we truly want to; not because we are being ‘forced’ to or ‘we guess we should do it for our business ’. The insincerity will be obvious and will rather leave a negative or false impression of us, let alone our business.
I thought I would list a few starters that I have used and some that I researched. Remember, let the question FIT the situation aptly (or at least contrast with it tastefully or humorously).

· Wow! It’s hot today! Was it this hot yesterday?
(Yea yea..you KNOW it was hot yesterday, but they don’t know YOU know!)

· What a great event. The music is blazing and people are having a great time. This was really well planned
(This is especially great with the PLANNERS of the party!)

· That dress is hot on you or That is a realllllly nice dress or I love that shirt.
(of course, if it is true. And with this- we don’t want to sound like we are flirting. So choose the statement that gives the least mixed signals)

· Did you hear about the earthquake in LA?
(If they heard- allow them to speak about it. If they didn’t- offer info you have)

· You guys make a beautiful couple. How long have you been together?

There are too many to list, but I hope this was helpful or at least inspiring to go get ‘em! Now go forth and network!

Paula Yee Sing-Edwards

YaadNoyz Magazine

YaadNoyz Production LLC

http://www.yaadnoyzmagazine.com/ (coming soon)

“You Had Me From Hello”-Work your Network!!

By now everyone knows that networking is the core of any entrepreneurial venture; Networking is marketing and marketing is key in promoting yourself, a service or product. Image and reputation (-thanks David M.) play powerful roles in the success (or lack) of any business. What is often forgotten is the fact that we don’t need to attend ‘networking’ functions and conferences to do so. We can interact and market in our day to day goings-on. The gym, the gas station, the bank, the supermarket, a child’s party are great untapped sources of contacts, customers, consumers and patrons.

I have always been a socialista; as a child I somehow knew the power of having certain contacts. I remember tugging at my dad’s shirt compelling him to introduce me to any police officer I saw anywhere…for some reason I believed I would need to have them as close friends (hmm..What was I thinking I would need them for??). It was the same for just about any professional, as I walked with a ‘contacts notebook’ to jot numbers…was so cute…I was like 10!

But this weekend, after reading “How to Work a Room” by Susan RoAne, I decided to go steps further with my networking. As a guest at a sweet 16 for the daughter of a friend of a friend - my friend’s grandparents could no longer attend, so my husband and I were the replacements. We were 2 of 4 black persons in a mostly Jewish circle and I thought to myself “self….let’s put our reading into practice!”

I took my friend’s mom’s hand and we took over the dance floor. Soon my husband joined in and we got others involved too. People were rooting for us and asking us to show them our dance moves etc; complimenting my husband and myself on what a great couple we seem to be…
I saw a couple on the dance floor make their way to the bar (open bar yipeeee) I followed so as to strike up a conversation. We chatted for a bit about their 28 year marriage, their kids, exchanged introductions and bingo…I left my mark. Similarly, I greeted the hosts (the parents) and commended them on an awesome event during the party and on our departure. I circled the room and shook hands with the people at most tables and met other professionals present at the event.

Yesterday I got a call from my friend who invited us informing me that we were the talk of the party and “everyone is still talking” about the awesome couple. There is now an open invitation to any event the family is hosting!

The point is…even those of us who think we have the keenest networking skills…with a CONSCIOUS effort to do more, we can make marketing magic! I did not market my upcoming online magazine, YaadNoyz Magazine, since it is still in the works, but I laid a foundation to chat business in the future.

Make eye contact today with someone and spark up a conversation..watch it work magic for your business life or even your personal life! Tomorrow I will discuss a few of my “conversation-starter-uppers”. Talk about the weather, the gas price, the color of her dress…be honest and confident and leave your mark.

You can have them at hello!!!

Paula Yee Sing-Edwards

Image and Identity Consultant

YaadNoyz Production LLC

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

One of the services offered by the company I am soon to launch includes conflict resolution in and out of the workplace. Here are some tips to resolving issues from the stance of the involved party or the one responsible for resolving them.

FACTORS TO CONSIDER

It is impossible to address every possible conflict that may arise among individuals within an organization; but there are several basic things to consider when faced with such conflicts.

· What is the real issue(s) – Are they work related or personal? Approach accordingly. If the feelings are personal, encourage the individuals to find methods of separating those feelings from the mission of the organization and focus on the goal at hand.

· Are we making a mountain out of a molehill? - Does the situation warrant the aggression and discord resulting from it? Can it be handled calmly and quickly without reducing productivity?

· How old are you? – Yes...this must be asked, because conflicts often bring out the temper- tantrum throwing child in the person. Child labor laws do not allow children to be employed in the position, so individuals are NOT expected to behave like children. Address the situation in a mature, civil, ADULT way.

· Remember the aim--- to do well at your job. Fighting and sabotaging another individual does not benefit you in any way. It decreases your worth as an asset to the company and certainly doesn’t add money to your salary. Doing well at your job brings honor and a sense of pride…all healthy for your body mind and spirit.

DEALING WITH THE CONFLICTS

· Be slow to anger- Bringing that emotion to the situation only worsens it and not resolve it. It puts the other party on the defensive. If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb

· Be indirect in stating errors or mistakes- This lowers the defensive walls and allows the next part to see your side. A person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. -Samuel Butler

· Remind the parties of the main goal of the organization- This creates a common ground

· Be open to apology- Graciously accept apologies and be more gracious in giving them if you are wrong.

· Show your human side- Let the part know when you have been wrong or made similar mistakes, this makes you more relatable to the situation.

· Close the case- Heal the situation to remove all negative personal feelings which may result if dealt with poorly. Encourage comradeship and oneness.

Paula Yee Sing-Edwards

YaadNoyz Magazine

YaadNoyz Production LLC

www.yaadnoyz magazine.com (coming soon)

Goal-Setting & Execution- For Procrastinators (like me)

This is for all you..er...us... procrastinators.

Goal-setting is a vital step in getting ahead and developing personally or professionally. Setting 'finishing points' is easy.....getting them done is HARD!!!

I am a born planner. I wish I had a job where I could organize everyone's life, schedule, future... BUT, very few things do I actually accomplish. Why? I procrastinate! I feel so good after making the perfect plan, I spend forever patting myself on the shoulder, and planning more. But what is the use in having well made plans if we fail to execute them?

This has been a serious problem in my life. So I have recently made adjustments to improve my goal execution.

My plans are always written; I actually keep an idea book, where I make notes when I brainstorm or I list things I want to accomplish in life, for the year, the month, the week, the day...you get the idea... I WRITE everything.

Next, I set deadlines (I work best under pressure...even is self inflicted!) to achieve these and outline how I am going to go about it. Everyday I do something-no matter how small- towards achieving the goal...then I 'tickie' it!!! YES...TICKIE (ticky?...sticky? however we splelt it in school). It is a great feeling to put a check mark at things we planned to accomplish; it gives a sense of satisfaction and moves us a step closer to our finish point.

Now, as a procrastinator, getting the listed things done is a task, so I have to train myself (boot camp styleee). I tend to start things and finish, so since I am aware of this problem I make a concentrated effort to complete. I set small seemingly mundane goals. For example, at the gym on the treadmill I will set it for 15 mins and by 12 or 13 mins I figure I could stop to begin another workout. BUT in Paula's bootcamp I have to stick it out and complete the 15 mins- my goal.

If I am reading a book, I set a goal to complete certain chapters and I do not stop until I finish the goal.

Slowly I am seeing evidence of progress...even in maintaining the writing of these notes and blogs, I am like that old-ish Jamaican Festival Song (Mi Stop, Mi Go, Mi Stop...mi stop, mi go, mi stop, mi go....stop and gooooooooo)-pardon the corniness, I can't help it!

So...us partial doers...sufferers of Adult ADD (Adult Attention Deficit Disorder)...let's work on it together and get stuff done.

Hoping you had a fabulous and productive day,

Paula Yee Sing-Edwards

YaadNoyz Production LLC

YaadNoyz Magazine (coming soon!)

www.myspace.com/yaadnoyz

www.myspace.com/paulayeesing

Image is Everything....What's Your Public Identity?

In this age of branding, public image is no longer limited to business but is now very personal. Since the boom of the social networking sites such as Myspace, Facebook ...Hi5 (hey, don't knock Hi5! I met the love of my life there!!!), the image of individuals is under continuous scurtiny.

The photos, the friends, the bio are all used to 'sum up' what a person is all about. So always keep in mind the image and the impression you want the public to have of you. As we are all well aware, these sites are powerful marketing tools, so what do you want to market yourself as? If you are an entrepreneur (as so many of us are), the image we reflect on these sites affect how our business is viewed....

... Do you have a corporate Image business with party girl pix?

... Do you have a photography business with poor quality photos posted?

....Are you an entertainment agent with NO photos of your involvement in the field?

... Are you promoting health awareness with photos showing your involvement (innocent as they may seem) in unhealthy habits...

Then you and your business run the risk of not being taken seriously and may not gain the confidence of the mass due to the contradictory image. This clearly can have a negative effect on your bottomline..your earnings...your profit..your moula.

Yea, the adage is true...image is everything...more so than ever before.

Of course, one such way to separate your personal life from your business is to set up separate networking accounts. The business account will reflect the logo and industry-related photos and information, while the personal allows you to be more natural.

So...if you never thought about this before, think about it!

Nuff Love,

Paula Yee Sing-Edwards

YaadNoyz Production LLC

www.myspace.com/yaadnoyz

www.myspace.com/paulayeesing

We Have a Choice...What Do You Choose???

I received an email a few weeks ago with a forwarded story. I usually ignore or delete forwarded mail (sorry guys), but I decided to read this one. I have already applied the essense of it to my own life and have seen and felt tremendous change...read and try for yourself!

Story:

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'He was a natural motivator.If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it? '

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.I choose to be in a good mood.'Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.'Yes, it is,'

he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins..Wanna see my scars?'I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.''

Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I askedHe continued, '

.''What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'.'Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

End of Story

WOW! We have a choice! So when you are tempted to say "I am having a bad day" or "that person is really upsetting me..I am goin got curse them out" or "this job is depressing", just think...you have a choice!

Choose to make your day good, choose to be unaffected by negativity....choose to be HAPPY!!!

Nuff Love as always,

Paula Yee Sing-Edwards

YaadNoyz Production LLC

Technorati Profile

Less Means More even in Goal Setting???

I was showering (where I get my best enlightenment) and started thinking about accessibility and ambition. They seem to have an inversely proportional relationship… when things are accessible, we don’t strive as hard.

Remember high school? Those who lived near to the school were the ones late. And even in adulthood…those close to work are those who are late. On the other hand, those who lived far away (Linstead, Spanish Town…) were at school before all the classrooms were open!

Are we prone to take things for granted when we have the means at our fingertips? This may not be the general… but it happens frequently enough to be..er…general-ish. I am always amazed at stories of people who excelled after having to study by candle light, with a crowded house, after cooking the dinner and cleaning up. And then those who had ample space, books, resources find some lame excuse to not get things done.

Those with no personal means of transport will get on the bus and get where they need to be…but those with a car somehow get lazy. If it breaks down, they cannot get to work, or to the meeting…

If there is a something you are striving for in this life, never let anything keep you from going for it. Act as if you have no choice but to get it. As if there are no ‘parents’ to bail you out, no ‘family business’ to get into if yours fail…GET IT. As you achieve small levels of success, strive for the ultimate goal as if you have nothing to fall back on...to ‘settle’ with. (But please do go ahead and celebrate every level of success, just don’t let it slow the growth process.)

We are the only ones who can really achieve what we want…and too often we are the ones who keep ourselves from it.

Nuff Love as always,

Paula Yee Sing-Edwards BScMT(hons)

Image Consultant

YaadNoyz Production LLC