Hey friends!
I hope this is a fabulous mid-week for you all! This topic is a doozie! I have many male and female friends..MANY.. so I have been lucky to be exposed to 2 sides and 2 points of view to various very sensitive issues.
I have not had the opportunity to ask the views on this particular topic, so I thought I would throw it out here....
A MAN AND WOMAN ARE HAVING A CASUAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP (MUTUAL AGREEMENT), BUT THE WOMAN GETS PREGNANT DURING ONE OF THE ENCOUNTERS WITH THE MAN.
THE MAN SAYS HE DOES NOT WANT A CHILD (WELL... NOT FROM HER) AND OFFERS TO PAY FOR AN ABORTION.
IF THE WOMAN AGREES, GOES TO THE CLINIC THEN CHANGES HER MIND WITHOUT DISCUSSING WITH THE MAN AND DECIDES TO KEEP THE CHILD....IS THE MAN STILL OBLIGATED TO TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD??
Believe me when I say I am torn about this issue.
I have been trying to type my opinion right here and find it difficult. Children should never suffer for the errors of the parents, but parenting is more than being there for a child financially.. how can you feign love and emotional bonding? If those are absent I rather not have the man in the child's life.
If I was a man... and agreed with a woman to NOT parent a child with her..and SHE decides otherwise after... I would not be happy to be forced into that relationship with her.
On the other hand... it takes 2 people to conceive the child, so both parties should bear the consequences and step up to the plate and be a responsible parent...
Sooooooooo many different views.... Hmmm...what do you think. (hope you have better luck putting it on paper).
Nuff love and positive vibes......
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
Artist Development
YaadNoyz Production LLC
www.myspace.com/yaadnoyz
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Survey question...What if He Doesn’t Want the Baby? Still Obligated?
Posted by Paula Yee Sing-Edwards at 7:53 AM
Labels: magazine, paula yee sing, paulayeesing, r, relationship, roger edwards, yaadnoyz production
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4 comments:
Great topic, happens so frequently, especially with the liberated sexual culture of today. An associate of mine is now in that position. She had engaged in a few casual encounters with her male friend and the unthinkable happened, the only unique factor in this situation lies in the fact that her male friend chose not to tell her that the condom had broke when he disposed of it. Having realised she was pregnant, she contacted him and asked about their last encounter and whether he had noticed any such occurences...he had, he admitted. Discussing what they would do, he decidely told her he was unprepared and unwilling to become a father, as he was (a) still too young in his opinion (b) too financially unstable and (c) they did not have that "special kind of relationship that he would like a child to be born into", i.e. she was for the sole purpose of breaking nuts and would now be a problem. She decided to go ahead and bear the child anyway, "her miracle child " (she was previously told she was infertile). She is now eight months pregnant and in the midst of a financial, emotional and mental crisis from lack of....everything, with which to welcome a newborn. My opinion? Hmm...your decision to "keep it" because of your circumstances, so...your responsibility.
Thanks for the response. It really is a common occurrence.. more than is actually discussed. I have friends in similar situations too... left to 'hold the bag', and male friends who opt to marry for the sake of the child... Hmmffff... life
I have many many more relevant and controversial issues that I would love your views on...stay tuned and keep in touch!
Paula Yee Sing-Edwards
YaadNoyz Production LLC
www.myspace.com/paulayeesing
www.myspace.com/yaadnoyz
yea, hard one, but my position is that both parents have a duty to the child as long as that child is brought into this world. based on this scenario of 'oops, it happened,' both parties are responsible for that child (there was no entrapment etc.). i totally do not agree that any man is absolved of his responsibility for a child of his loins simply by saying 'i do not want it.' so what? actions have consequences, and our society continues to unfairly put the burden of two people's actions on one person - the woman.
from what i am reading, it seems some ppl feel that if a man says 'i dont want the child, abort it' and the woman does not abort the child, she is solely responsible. whether he steps up to be a man is a discussion for another time. the issue i see hear is that he is still responsible, whether or not he decides to honour that responsibility.
actions have consequences. not just for woman. maybe the world would be a teenie bit fairer if getting a woman pregnant had consequences for more men.
well, people need to learn that sex is NOT for recreation, it's for reCREATION. it's not a joke or a casual leisure activity. one time can KILL you, let alone make a baby. that being said, grown rational individuals should know the possible outcomes of engaging in such behaviour and should be willing to accept them, be it death or life.
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